You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
