so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize