You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
