Already got asked if we're dating
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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