ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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