My first STD was from a foam party
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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