I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
