I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
