Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
