At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize