Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
