porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
