I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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