I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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