garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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