I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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