if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
There's even glitter on my cock...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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