i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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