The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
