Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
