be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
