I want to walk on stilts...naked
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
