Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
