What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
