Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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