oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
