My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
