I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
