You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
