Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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