i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
