did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
