fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You should frame my arrest warrant.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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