I think I died a long time ago.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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