i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
