so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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