Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize