You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
