Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
