You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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