I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
