the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
