I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
