Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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