And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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