I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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