none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
