so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
