You can't motorboat a personality
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
