I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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