My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I don't think brook has ever known best
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
