youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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