D3 body, D1 cock
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize