I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i think im in europe. pls send help
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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