weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
