Everything about him screamed your future.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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