I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
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Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
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I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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