just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm