Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.