I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
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I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
What changed your mind?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
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Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity