His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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