This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
