Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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